I was asked by the organizers of the Wordstock Festival to contribute to their blog, and so I have done so:
Writers are often asked how they go about their writing. Over the past few years I’ve developed a highly efficient, effective process that I will now share, as I’m certain it will be of great interest and benefit to aspiring writers. It can be broken down into the following important steps:
1. Inspiration: idea for new book arrives. First love, angels singing, all is right with the universe. Burst of enthusiastic writerly activity, the words cascading forth effortlessly. This glorious period lasts for several minutes.
2. I hate this crap–what was I thinking?
3. Procrastination, self-recrimination, unhealthy meta-behaviors to avoid actually working.
4. Time passes.
5. Equilibrium is achieved between desire to procrastinate and self-loathing due to desire to procrastinate. Self-loathing eventually becomes more painful than actually sitting down and writing.
5. Sit down and write. No excuses.
5a. But first watch “So You Think You Can Dance,” but just this time, and definitely don’t linger to watch “Ultimate Fighter.”
5b. Watch “Ultimate Fighter,” convincing self that it’s a necessary counterbalance to preceding show.
5c. Do not watch “Project Runway”!
5d. …again.
6. Sit down and write, this time for real.
7 – 12. Facebook/Twitter/desultory blogging.
13 – 427. Check Amazon sales ranking of current novel.
428. Bedtime.
429. More time passes. Does the oven need cleaning? Isn’t it time I learned Wolof?
430. Repeat step five.
431. You know, this thing isn’t so bad.
432. Flurry of work. Show WIP to carefully selected friend, secure in the knowledge that they’ll fulfill their role as cheerleader.
433. Decide to agree with friend’s critique: I am a genius.
434. Coast on sugar high, cranking through chapter after chapter. The evil spell is broken.
435. This is crap.
436. See step three.
i love this.
almost as much as i loved the story you told at wordstock about the fire alarm at the benson(?) hotel.
i was the pathetic girl that walked around with the microphone during the Q&A session.
i have now bookmarked your blog.
you have successfully secured one more minion!
Thanks! I’m glad you liked it, and your microphone carrying was brilliant!
Simply Perfect!